Jokes of the day for Monday, 13 September 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Monday, 13 September 2021
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Be rady for Thanksgiving, check out our latest Thanksgiving jokes of 2021 on: Thanksgiving jokes collection

They ki

They killed the king of daytime television. It was Regiside.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (11)

The rich aunt was disappointed

The rich aunt was disappointed and said to her nephew, "I'm sorry you don't like your gift. I asked you if you preferred a large check or a small check."
"I know, Auntie," the nephew said contritely, "but I didn't know you were talking about neckties."
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 2.83/10

Rating: 2.8/10 (12)

Pecans, Walnuts, or Peanuts

I asked the three-year-old what he likes to eat.
“Nuts,” he replied.
“Great,” I said. “What kind, pecans? Walnuts? Peanuts?"
“No,” she said with a smile, “donuts!”

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.08/10

Rating: 8.1/10 (12)

Getting a Cake

Little Johnny walked into the kitchen, saw his mother making a cake and announced, "I'll be playing in my room for the next two hours. I sure would like a piece of cake when you're finished."
Later, when his mother brought him a piece of cooled cake, Little Johnny exclaimed, "Golly, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"

Red velvet cake from Liberty Kitchen in Houston, TX

Little Johnny replied, "Daddy said that in order to get a piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours playing first!"

#joke
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (10)

Getting Saved

A father asked his little boy if he knew how a person gets saved.“We’ll be saved by going to our church every Sunday,” the boy said without hesitation.His father explained that going to their church each week would not save them.“Well, then, we better find another church!” replied the boy.
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 29 June 2021
  • Currently 6.15/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (13)

Top 10 Signs That It Is Time to Join E-Mailers Anonymous

10) You wake up at 3 am to go to the bathroom, and check your e-mail on the way back to bed.

9) Your firstborn is named Dotcom.

8) You turn off your modem and are suddenly filled with a feeling of emptiness, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.

7) You spend half of a plane trip with your laptop on your lap, and your child in the overhead compartment.

6) You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.

5) You find yourself typing ''com'' after every period.com.

4) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.

3) You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.

2) You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

1) Immediately after reading this list, you e-mail it to someone.

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 October 2015
  • Currently 4.44/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (9)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

A man asked an American Indian

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied, "She called Four Horse".
The man said, "That's an unusual name for your wife.What does it mean?"
The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian Name. It mean,
NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 14 September 2015
  • Currently 4.10/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (10)

Two men were hunting deer when...

Two men were hunting deer when a large bear rears up and begins to charge them.

The one man puts his running shoes on and begins to run with the other man.

The second man asks why he put them on because it wont help him out run the bear.

He said "I don't need to out run the bear I need to out run you."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 13 September 2008
  • Currently 5.69/10

Rating: 5.7/10 (45)

Human cloning is outlawed beca...

Human cloning is outlawed because of Chuck Norris, because then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 September 2011
  • Currently 3.25/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (44)

A married couple was watching...

A married couple was watching volleyball game at a beach when the wife spotted a couple in the bleachers. They were being very affectionate. The girl was running her hands all over the boyfriend and nibbling on his ear. He had his hands on her chest.
Looking at them, the wife said to her husband "I don't know whether to watch them or the game."
Husband said, "Better watch them! You already know how to play volleyball."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 13 September 2016
  • Currently 8.78/10

Rating: 8.8/10 (41)

An old man who loves to fish...

An old man who loves to fish, was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 13 September 2015
  • Currently 8.56/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (41)

Serving Two Masters

A Mormon acquaintance once pushed Mark Twain into an argument on the issue of polygamy. After long and tedious expositions justifying the practice, the Mormon demanded that Twain cite any passage of scripture expressly forbidding polygamy.
"Nothing easier," Twain replied. "No man can serve two masters."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Sunday, 13 September 2009
  • Currently 5.62/10

Rating: 5.6/10 (37)

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