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Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 07 February 2023

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 07 February 2023
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Have a great time for Christmas, check out our latest Christmas jokes of 2022 on: Christmas jokes collection

I heard Vladimir Putin started

I heard Vladimir Putin started a company and I thought, ‘Well, that's biz czar.'
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

If the Pilgrims Were Alive

In class, the teacher was trying desperately to get the students to think. He asked, “If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?”One student quickly responded, “Their age.”
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Belief net - Joke of the day, features on religion, spirituality, faith
  • Currently 6.17/10

Rating: 6.2/10 (6)

A Talking Tree

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
"You can't cut me down," the tree exclaims, "I'm a talking tree!"
The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Soda Machine

One day a blonde went up to a soda machine, put in some money, and a soda came out. She got really excited and started to put more money into the machine. The more and more she did it, the more the soda came out.

After a while someone walked up to her and asked if they could please get a soda.

Vending machine

The blonde looked at them angrily and said: "Get out of my face, I'm winning!"

#joke #blonde
  • Currently 5.43/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (7)

Long winded...

A man was giving a speech at his lodge meeting. He got a bit carried away and talked for two hours. Finally, he realized what he had done and said, "I'm sorry I talked so long. I left my watch at home."

A voice from the back of the room replied, "There's a calendar behind you..."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 24 February 2017
  • Currently 7.70/10

Rating: 7.7/10 (10)

Demetri Martin: Exit Only

I saw a sign on this door; it said, Exit Only. So, I entered it and went up to the guy working there, and I was like, I have some good news. You have severely underestimated this door over here by, like, 100%, man.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 07 February 2011
  • Currently 4.32/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (68)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Three Travelers

Three travelers, an American, a Russian, and an Egyptian, were circumnavigating the globe a la Jules Verne. The Russian man put his hand out and reached down into the clouds.

“Aaah!” he said. “We're right over my homeland.”

“How can you tell?” asked the American.

“I can feel the cold air.” he replied.

A few days later the African man put his hand through the clouds.

“Aah we're right over my homeland.” he said.

“How do you know that?” asked the Russian.

“I can feel the heat of the desert.”

Several more days later the American put his hand through the clouds.

“Aah, we're right over New York.” The Russian and the African were amazed.

“How do you know all of that?!” they exclaimed.

The American pulled his hand in and held it up for them to see. “My watch is missing.”

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 February 2012
  • Currently 6.44/10

Rating: 6.4/10 (52)

Grandpa and God

My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?”
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, “Now, how are we alike?”
“You’re both old,” he replied.

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 07 February 2009
  • Currently 2.62/10

Rating: 2.6/10 (47)

Contrary to popular belief, th...

Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Tuesday, 07 February 2012
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (47)

The General Managers of Cascad...

The General Managers of Cascade Brewery (Tasmania), Tooheys (NewSouth Wales), XXXX (Queensland), CUB (Victoria) and Coopers (South Australia) were at a national beer conference.
They decide to all go to lunch together and the waitress asks what they want to drink.
The General Manager of Tooheys says without hesitation, "I'll have a Tooheys New."
The General Manager of Cascade smiles and says, "I'll have a Cascade Draught, brewed from pure mountain water."
The General Manager of Coopers proudly says, "I'll have a Coopers, the King of Beers."
The bloke from XXXX says, "I'll have a XXXX, the cleanest beer on the planet."
The General Manager from Carlton glances at his lunch mates and says, "I'll have a Diet Coke."
The others look at him like he has sprouted a new head.
He just shrugs and says, "Well if you poofters aren't drinking beer, then neither will I."
#joke #beer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 07 February 2009
  • Currently 6.55/10

Rating: 6.6/10 (38)

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