Jokes of the day for Thursday, 02 December 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Thursday, 02 December 2021
  • Currently 5.33/10

Rating: 5.3/10 (3)

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Any failure of change machines

Any failure of change machines to accept cash is untenable.
#joke #short
Joke | Source: Pun Gents - Daily Jokes, One-liners, Groaners, Puns of the day :: Puns on Demand :: Punshine Girls and Boys!
  • Currently 5.00/10

Rating: 5.0/10 (1)

Belated confession

A man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” he said. “During World War II, I hid a refugee in my attic."

"Well," said the priest. "That's not a sin."

"But I made him agree to pay me $20 for every week he stayed," the man explained.

"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause," the priest replied.

"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind,” the man said. “I have one more question, though."

"What is that, my son?" the priest inquired.

confession

"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

#joke
  • Currently 3.00/10

Rating: 3.0/10 (2)

Loaning Weight

I never actually lose weight anymore.
Apparently, I just loan it out and it comes back with interest.
And lately, I have been getting great rates of return!

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 4.25/10

Rating: 4.3/10 (4)

When a customer slid into the

When a customer slid into the barber chair, the barber asked him how he wanted his hair cut.
"Make it short," the customer replied, "with a bare patch above my left ear, but longer on the right side so that it covers my right ear. I also want my left sideburn above my left ear and the right sideburn below my right ear."
The barber looked puzzled and said, "I don't think I can do that."
The customer replied, "I don't know why not–that's the way you cut it the last time I was here!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 September 2021
  • Currently 8.33/10

Rating: 8.3/10 (3)

Catsup

A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone.

"It's the minister, Mommy" the child said to her mother.

Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 21 December 2015
  • Currently 5.40/10

Rating: 5.4/10 (5)

Recently a teacher, a garbage ...

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."
The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate. St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't REALLY need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"
Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie and answered, "about 1,500." "That's right! You may enter." St. Peter then turned to the lawyer. "Name them."
#joke #lawyer
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2009
  • Currently 5.97/10

Rating: 6.0/10 (78)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Chuck Norris once shot an enem...

Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 December 2011
  • Currently 2.71/10

Rating: 2.7/10 (41)

Growing Wild

Here is this guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts weights and jogs five miles every day.

One morning, he looks into the mirror and admires his body. He notices that he is really sun tanned all over except one part and he decides to do something about it.

He goes to the beach, completely undresses and buries himself in the dand except for the one part sticking out.

Two little old ladies are strolling along the beach and one looks down and says, "There really is no justice in this world."

The other little old lady says, "What do you mean?"

The first little old lady says, "Look at that."

"When I was 10 years old, I was afraid of it."

"When I was 20 years old, I was curious about it."

"When I was 30 years old, I enjoyed it."

"When I was 40 years old, I asked for it."

"When I was 50 years old, I paid for it."

"When I was 60 years old, I prayed for it."

"When I was 70 years old, I forgot about it."

"And now that I'm 80, the damned things are growing wild!!"

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 December 2011
  • Currently 6.12/10

Rating: 6.1/10 (34)

Better Than Botox?

Q. What's the name of a face lotion developed for Jewish women?
A. Oil of Oy Vey
- Joke shared by Beliefnet member BeliefnetSabee

#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 02 December 2009
  • Currently 4.94/10

Rating: 4.9/10 (31)

Mike Birbiglia: Illiterate People

I shouldnt say bad stuff about illiterate people, though. I should write it.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 02 December 2011
  • Currently 4.46/10

Rating: 4.5/10 (24)

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