Jokes of the day for Tuesday, 20 July 2021

Funny jokes, funny photo and funny video collected from the internet on Tuesday, 20 July 2021
  • Currently 9.00/10

Rating: 9.0/10 (5)

Doing the Bare Minimum

As a kid, I got lectured for only doing the bare minimum to complete a task.
As an engineer, I get paid to do just that.

#joke #short
Joke | Source: A joke a day - Free Jokes of the Day Clean Funny Jokes via Email, Humor and Entertainment
  • Currently 8.00/10

Rating: 8.0/10 (7)

There are two blondes and a br

There are two blondes and a brunette on an island. One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each.
The first blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat." With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.
The second blonde says, "I need to get off this island, I need jetski." With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde.
The genie looks enquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says, "Just give me a million dollars, I'll take the bridge."
#joke #blonde
Joke | Source: Smilezilla - Daily Jokes and Funny Stories
  • Currently 5.90/10

Rating: 5.9/10 (10)

Santa's favourite metal

Santa's favourite metal band? Sleigher.
#joke #short
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 25 October 2017
  • Currently 7.20/10

Rating: 7.2/10 (5)

Signs of Irony...

Maternity Clothes Shop:
We Are Open On Labor Day

Non-smoking area:
If We See You Smoking, We Will Assume You Are On Fire And Take Appropriate Action

On Maternity Room Door:
Push,Push,Push

Optometrist's Office:
If You Don't See What You're Looking For,You've Come To The Right Place

Scientist's Door:
Gone Fission

Taxidermist Window:
We Really Know Our Stuff

Podiatrist's Window:
Time Wounds All Heels

Butcher's Window:
Let Me Meat Your Needs

Car Dealership:
The Best Way To Get Back On Your Feet - Miss a Car Payment

Muffler Shop:
No Appointment Necessary. We'll Hear You Coming

Hotel:
Help! We Need Inn - Experienced People

Veterinarian's Waiting Room:
Be Back In 5 Minutes. Sit! Stay!

Music Teacher's Door:
Out Chopin

At the Electric Company:
We Would Be Delighted If You Send In Your Bill. However, If You Don't, You Will Be.

Garbage Truck:
We've Got What It Takes To Take What You've Got

Computer Store:
Out For a Quick Byte

Restaurant Window:
Don't Stand There and Be Hungry, Come In And Get Fed Up

Bowling Alley:
Please Be Quiet. We Need To Hear A Pin Drop.

Music Library:
Bach In A Minuet

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Saturday, 08 August 2015
  • Currently 8.60/10

Rating: 8.6/10 (10)

Post Office

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?"
The clerk says, "What denomination?"
The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists."

#joke #blonde #christmas
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Thursday, 25 December 2014
  • Currently 9.38/10

Rating: 9.4/10 (8)

Odd Rabbi Out

"I told you I was right!" cried the rabbi, but his friends insisted that nothing had happened that could not be explained by natural causes.
The rabbi was getting ready to ask for a VERY big sign, but just as he said, "Oh God...," the sky turned pitch black, the earth shook, and a deep, booming voice intoned, "HEEEEEEEE'S RIIIIIIIGHT!"
The rabbi put his hands on his hips, turned to the other three, and said, "Well?"
"So," shrugged one of the other rabbis, "now it's 3 to 2."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Monday, 20 July 2009
  • Currently 4.38/10

Rating: 4.4/10 (48)

Which is a winning combination of digits?

The computer chose a secret code (sequence of 4 digits from 1 to 6). Your goal is to find that code. Black circles indicate the number of hits on the right spot. White circles indicate the number of hits on the wrong spot.
CHECK ANSWER
Brain Teasers, puzzles, riddles, mathematical problems, mastermind, cinemania...

Chuck Norris is so fast, he ca...

Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
#joke #short #chucknorris
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 July 2011
  • Currently 3.29/10

Rating: 3.3/10 (48)

Winding up the tough guy

I was sitting at a bar one time, when I noticed that, next to me, an old drunk was hassling one of the biggest, toughest guys I'd ever seen.

The old guy was clearly blasted, and kept getting in the tough guy's face, say, "I fucked your mother."

Despite being huge and jacked, the tough guy just kept shrugging it off. The old guy laughed in the tough guy's face, saying it again. "Hey, I fucked your mother."

Then, the old man even poked him, and repeated himself, "No seriously, I fucked your mother."

At this point, finally, the tough guy had had enough. He grabbed the old man by his jacket and began to pull him out of the bar, yelling,

"That's it. We're going home, Dad. You're drunk."

#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Friday, 20 July 2012
  • Currently 4.70/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (43)

How The Blonde Broker Her Arm

Q: How did the blonde break her arm?

A: she fell out of a tree while she was raking leaves.

#joke #short #blonde
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 July 2011
  • Currently 4.12/10

Rating: 4.1/10 (42)

My Dad Scribbles

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon. And, it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
#joke
Joke | Old joke from joke of the day archives - Check out other old jokes Wednesday, 20 July 2011
  • Currently 4.68/10

Rating: 4.7/10 (37)

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